diary entry 112

 Whoa. is all i can say,

well. last nights dxm trip.

i took 600mg at first, then took 240mg more an hour or so later. this was. the best trip ive had on dxm in a super fucking long time. like actually.

im gonna be chasing this dragon for a while...

i saw my future. and i saw love.and i saw beauty. i think im in love with M's roommate who i am semi-close with also. i talked to M about this and it is happy for me. it was fucking incredible. i had such euphoria, music enhancement, i didnt throw up. i had beautiful visions and spent all night lost in my bed exploring gorgeous realities. i havent had a trip that amazing in idk how long. it was everything ive ever needed. i saw hope and love and companionship

i took half a mirtazapine around 5 AM and set an alarm and slept till 2:30 PM or so. i was languid, full of socks. woke up afterglowing and took a caffeine pill because i had to work 4-8. i was cheesing so fucking hard and the ride to work was glorious. the sun was high in the sky, it was quite warm and breezy out. i took pictures on the ride over and listened to beautiful music.

i felt invincible.

i got to work early and clocked in. i was alone for my whole  shift. had a LOT to do though. i had to set up muffins and a TON of breads and pastries. it took 2 hours and i sweated my ass off. didnt really take any breaks. i was in the zone. got so much done.

i was afterglowing my whole shift, then finished up for the day and cleaned up the bakery. i didnt have time to do the markdowns but its okay. my mom came in and we got ice cream and discounted alcohol. im wiped out. barely checked my phone. we saved a lot on the groceries.

i got home and started drinking and im gonna make some more food after this is posted. im still hungry. ate some leftovers but i got some microwaveable pasta ive been wanting to try. 

im so happy. life is worth it. im gonna confess tomorrow.