diary entry 150

​my mom got a new dog and came home with her last night... her name is wolfe but we're renaming her winnie and after work i met her. she's very very soft and cute and polite (doesn't bark) and im excited to play with her when i get home tonight

today i was very irritable and angry for most of the day. i got to work and immediately gale chewed me out for 3 fuckups from yesterday and it pissed me off so bad i had to immediately walk out and have a cigarette so i didn't do/say something i regretted. my dad had to give me some money so i could buy monster drinks at work today. he gave me $20 and told me i owed him $10. i had less than a dollar in my bank account . some guy was gonna commission me but spent 3 days without sending me what he owed me and it was pissing me off. eventually i told him today "hey if you don't pay me soon you won't be able to commission me anymore" and he sent me the $35. i paid colin back the $10 he gave me the other day and bought cigarettes. i have $10 in cash to give to my dad also

every time i went to the bathroom some bullshit happened. i had to use it frequently. i went in to sit and vape and unwind and this lady immediately comes in and starts shitting loudly, and i'm severely coprophobic and had to plug my ears and leave immediately. same thing happened later when i went to pee in the break rooms men's room. and TWICE today i went to the downstairs women's room and had to walk up the 20 step stairs to use the break room bathroom instead because annoying children were fucking around and being extremely annoying.

the vape shop in laconia is hiring again. i've applied 5+ times to this one and never even gotten interviewed, but i applied again. if they don't at least interview me im leaving a bad review on google for them because this is genuinely ridiculous. i've wanted a vape shop job for YEARS now.

found out my mom is a coercive controlling abuser. see she isolates me from any form of IRL connection i have unless its R. she won't let me hang out with brooke again, even though we hung out irl once, because she was psychoticly paranoid i was doing cocaine (i wasn't). i only know R, O, and brooke irl. rex blocked me without saying anything. it's borderline impossible for me to make irl friends, much less keep them, and she loves isolating me to make herself feel comfortable. fucking insane behavior. i'm 24 and a full ass adult. she needs to get her head out of her ass. she didn't let me see O for a while either due to her psychotic drug addiction paranoia. not only that, she's coercively financial controlling. she pays $700 a month for my brothers college apartment despite the fact he's 21 and has NEVER had a job before (i've had 12 jobs since i was 18) yet she won't do the same for me. really fucking makes you think .

null cofronted for most of today to deal with the irritability and anger

yea it's just all so fucking retarded. i can't wait to drink tonight. i got a new pack of cigs too. tomorrow i work but then have my "weekend" tuesday and wednesday and i register for classes on wednesday (had to move my appointment with my advisor to that day due to work)