diary entry 131

​yesterday i called out of work and started drinking at 9-10 AM from the mikes hard tallboys i got at my job and i sobbed for an hour then took a nap and had horny fetish dreams and woke up horny and engaged in Nsfw fetish stuff in a server devoted to that and got a guy named L crazy about it. then he asked to be my puppy and me master??? which is cool i suppose hehe.

ummm. then i felt a bit better after playing tomodachi and went for a walk + small grocery run with my mom. i felt suicidal at the grocery store but i felt better when i took my meds

i haven't done any weed since i went to rex's house and ive been having weird vivid dreams again. i lowkey hate dreaming lmao

i got told to get a note from my therapist about my self care absence from work and i did and printed it out

TODAY was much better and im excited to go to work tomorrow. i got up at 1 pm or so after sleeping on and off and played tomodachi and took a shower, then i cleaned my room for almost an hour. i got a lot done! made my bed with new sheets and cleaned up, put clean clothes on the chair outside my room in my drawer and closet, cleaned up the kandi supplies from my floor, and i need to vacuum and clean up my bureau and desk but im so tired now.

i went out with my mom today. we went to see the backrooms movie, but we stopped at dollar tree first to get snacks. R was working! i saw her twice today. we got some candy and shit then went to the movie theater and

liek. oh my god. OH my fucking god. the movie was SoooooooOOOO FUCKING GOOOOOOD. i'm so. omg. it made me cry and chuckle and jerk my arms when a jumpscare happened. i'm so fixated on it now and plan to make 4x6 inch prints when i finish these art trades i owe >:) it's sooooo awesome and i texted O saying if he ever plans to watch it to BRING ME i wanna rewatch it so bAD

then we went to where i worked for like 2 things for dinner my mom is making beef stew... yummy. i saw gale from my job too

OH also after watching backrooms we went back to dollar tree to get a card for rex to give them some money from the uber they got for me cuz it was Not Cheap and we put it in their mailbox. then my mom had to go to autozone. when we went back to DT, i saw R again and hugged them and told them to watch the movie LOL. 

i just got home and changed and im soooo tired. i also got my trileptal XR dose upped to twice daily, one in the morning/after waking up and one before bed. i toook one while cleaning and it's good but makes me feel a bit dopey.. sigh whatever

i'm gonna play tomodachi and see if i feel up for drawing a trade but idk i feel really sleepy.

i just gotta work tmrw (wednesday) and thursday then i got friday off for a big day in portsmouth where we are getting late bday dinner for me at my favorite asian restaurant THEN I HAVE TADC MOVIE AT 9:45 PM!!! YAY. i found out tho my local theater (the one i went to today actually) is playing it too BUT I DIDNT KNOWWWW

i get paid tonight too.., so excited im gonna save most of it I HOPE but gonna preorder the habit Smile for me plush also......

i talked to my mom about how R asked me to be roommates with them when they get an apartment and my mom was totally against it :/ so i guess ill just go to michigan this summer to see M after all (i was planning to not go so i could move in with R but whatever)

yes that's it. yay