diary entry 142

 work was CRAZY today. i was like a chicken with its head cut off. had to package a fuckton of cookies and set up stuff and clean. i didnt think i had enough time to do it all, but i finished with 20 mins to spare

been talking to my boyfriend frequently and drinking alcohol. im not talking to O much rn cuz he didnt like how i relapsed on dxm, which i understand, but i saw him today and waved hello and he said Hola and when i left i said have a good night and he said have a good night also.

im seeing my psychiatrist sooner than july 23; i have a new appointment for the 14th. i have tuesday + wednesday + thursday off, gonna get my new bureau in my room, and im starting to work 5 hour days instead of 6. my depression and anxiety have still been Bad, but im improving slowly.

im hoping i get on memantine during the psychiatrist appointment, and that i can also go on an ADHD medication again.

ive been bingelistening to myboyfriends music, good shittttt

im. not gonna be very public abt this but i thiiiiink im plural? having to denounce a lot of "sysmed" thoughts i grew accustomed to while growing up but i think im a median system. my "facets" are tuesday/skylar (it/they/she/he/kit), and darcy/jumpscare (they/it/xe/fae). still working through all of this and ruminating on it but it feels Very Us. idk!

C drew the art i commed from him of us and Maston (musician i have a big crush on rn) and its so.OMG

 i also won a "free bahamas vacation" except the whole thing is a scam apparently and id need to pay thousands for it. LMAO

but yea!