diary entry 153

​yesterday i went to work 2-8 and it was okay but i got irritable. got home and drank quite a bit again and also had a big lamb chop dinner

slept very good last night, solid 11 hours but woke up needing to shit badly today LOL  i'm still at work but i finished like everything so im sitting around till 7:55 when i can leave (it's 7:23 rn)

i took my trileptal before work for once (i usually forget my morning dose...) and WOW it made today so much better. felt very elated and chipper and chatty. my dad drove me to work today and we talked about clouds and weather and how the car heating/air conditioning mechanisms work. i plan to go driving on my "weekend" (tuesday and wednesday off) and practice that a bit more, and also work on this owed art i've been putting off due to being wiped out from work every night.

mom told me not to get drunk tonight, so i won't but i still have a bit of alcohol left. but ive been drinking close to a liter of either 13.9% ABV or 16% ABV each night so my tolerance is kinda Gacked

i gotta get my mirtazapine refilled... tomorrow before work HOPEFULLY doing my pee test at the doctors office so i can get on concerta... that will help me Massively, I Think. i took all my memantine too but i see my psych again on the 14th .

didn't have much money, yesterday my mom made me buy her some stuff but she paid me back today before work ($13) and my depop sale i did a week ago had the funds ready to withdraw, so i'll have $33 more tomorrow. and my $12.75 from my allah-las ticket i sold should be deposited soon. but i spent a Lot this week again, luckily pay day is in 3 days... graham kartna is selling an older album he made on vinyl starting on friday the 7th so im super stoked about that! planning to cop...

saw my cool lesbian coworker and hung out with her for a bit, she visited her girlfriend in texas for 3 weeks so we talked about that a bit. very nice and she let me have the rest of her strawberry shortcake parfait

i mask as a singlet all day at work then i get home and get settled in and either darcy or morgan take up front and center and cause Mischief after work LOL

might be calling C tonight, after work! exciting. love calling him. it's been 1 year since we met up irl for the first (and only rn) time too.,. what a beautiful 10 days that was... #PARKLINAUGUST2025

yea that's about it? i've been smoking cigs frequently and a lot of the time when i smoke outside at work loud fucking motorcycles drive by and it pisses me off. i also got a gatorade and sandwich during my lunch today and the gatorade lowkey tasted like delsym. Yuck!!! i dumped out the rest of it