diary entry 80

​the day before yesterday i waited around all day for the mail to run and managed to get the gram of ketamine i ordered without my mom finding out

so i got it and weighed out like 120mg (i have a scale again) and injected it into my thigh

Let me copy paste what i sent my discord server:

"i GOT MY $35 GRAM OF KETAMINE!!!!!!! and i took a short walk then posted up in my room and weighed out 120mg on my milligram scale (i wasted a bit tho and i thiiink the final dose was 111mg. tbh) and prepped a needle and syringe from my T supplies and injected into my left thigh. my hands were shaking so bad from hunger but i did it. laid in bed and..

oh **my god.** headphones strapped on, under cozy blanket and propped up with pillows and room dimly lit. good music shuffling. i feel my moodiness irritability anxiety Melt Away i'm not kidding. and i DID SMILE WITH MY eyes closed laying in bed. straddled the K hole for like 30 mins and i'm still seeing double shoutout autocorrect but like i feel so . oh my god this is revolutionary"

so i spent the night in between K holes and hanging out and then slept wonderfully for 11 hours straight because i didn't sleep good 2 days before

then yesterday i had therapy at 2 PM and we talked about a lot and she gave me a number for a new psychiatrist i could call. i wanted to do my K so bad and kept counting down during therapy when i could do it after.

i did the rest of the K throughout yesterday (injections because i don't like snorting it anymore) and had beautiful K holes. seeing glorious things and feeling amazing. music was wonderful. i had my music on shuffle and the craziest songs kept playing back to back. very symbolic i think

i'm sad i'm out of K now but at least i can move on with my life and do shit

todays to do list:

• do a commission (i sketched it before typing this out)
• call the new psychiatrist maybe
• call my doctor and tell her how shitty the endocrinologist was
• study drivers ed stuff more
• make kandi for this guy (10 bracelets)