Saturday, March 14, 2026

diary entry 81

​only 1:38 but i'm so upset

O texted me last night saying i can't come to his house anymore because his girlfriend found out i was doing ketamine and she was upset about it like the fuck??? 😭😭 and he kicked me out of his server also like okay thanks i guess

i struggle with having irl friends it's like i'm cursed to never have them for too long this shit always fucking happens. i'm so fuckinf upset and wanna SH again but i'm trying not to

i slept in till 12:30 because of it i don't remember last night too well i drank the rest of my vodka and smoked and all i remember was listening to orangy then falling asleep. 

i feel like i'm stagnant and can't move forward i'll never be in a relationship again i'll never have a job again i'll never move out of my parents house i'll be stuck here in this way forever and it fucking sucks i wish i was dead tbh

i'm trying to keep busy and make the kandi this guy bought 10 bracelets from me and i have like 7 out of 10 done and have the last 3 ready to be made then i'm gonna study drivers ed manual more but i feel like my whole life is a mess that can't be cleaned up or fixed in any way

fuck my life

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diary entry 169

​hell yea! got to sleep in because no work today! i was super productive today! i ate a banana, sketched out my art homework due on the 14th...