diary entry 115

 well today was good! i had yesterday off and went grocery shopping with my mom and got vodka. today  i worked 4-8 and it was great! i got a lot done, but couldnt get markdowns done in time so i had to write a note to the opener tomorrow. O had just gotten back from his visit to NYC and i saw him a bunch today. we talked a bit!

i woke up at 9:50 for therapy today, good session. got some stuff off of my chest. my friend of 10 years on and off has recovered trauma memories about a mutual friend we had (he dated it for 2 years too) and called it out yesterday on its birthday and he made a mutual friend of ours cut me off over the thing. i cut off the ex from this friend yesterday because like. even though the actions are 10 years old i felt weird knowing it and having it on my conscious. it was very bad and i didnt agree with anything. but him making A cut me off was very... shitty too and im kinda mad abt it but whatever... i talked about this at therapy today. i dont see her again for 2 weeks but its okay im doing well rn 

i talked to F a bit near the end of my shift today. i got a lot done! setup pastries and  breads and cleaned up. on the way home i talked to my dad the whole time about setting up a 401K for myself and retiring and stuff. also i told my manager i plan to visit michigan in july and she told me i have to work july 4 but otherwise its okay!!!

i got out and was very excited. my MDMA gummies + weed gummies i ordered got delayed, they were gonna deliver yesterday originally but landed today. i got home and opened the package! my mom didnt open it which really shocked me because my parents have been opening my mail for the past few years. i took a shower,  ate leftover taco bell quesadilla and a frozen chicken alfredo dish, and then ate 300mg mdma gummy with half of a 150mg weed gummy.

the mdma gummy tasted gross, but its okay. i have 1 more leftover that im saving for when i see allah-las in july............ but i drew a nsfw owed art trade while coming up and i felt very experimental and creative. it went very well! i also drew a picture of my fursona. i got really sociable and asked a LOT of people to voice call over discord, but i ultimately ended up calling Ana and hanging out while i drew my fursona.

music has sounded amaazinggggggg. ive been very dehydrated and drinking a lot

i took the other half of the 150mg weed gummy not too long ago and drank the rest of my vodka. i talked to friends and felt very euphoric,. i think my meds made the molly  not as  effective but whatever.

im veyr happy.i love my job right now ansd things are going good despite the setback with Ro and stuff. i am pushing forward and having a grewat time. might start dating mac soon, going to michigan in july, i get paid soon, i have tmrw off, my birthday is in 3 weeks, imaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa